"And here we are, 10 years later. After all these years this day still hits me like a ton of bricks. My emotions are allllllll over the place, just like they were 10 years ago. Not Avery though, she is just here amazing us all and being my perfect little miracle. This morning, snuggled on the couch coffee in hand, Bluey on tv, I was telling her some details about her rough beginning and this day 10 years ago. She loves to hear about it, and how special she is. After a few minutes she got up and came back with her white board, and asked me to give her some long division problems! This girl never ceases to amaze me"
10 years ago ......
"All the feels this morning as I woke Avery up for preschool. 4 years ago today I woke up alone, at the Ronald McDonald House in Orlando. I remember trying to treat the morning like any other morning. I pumped, showered, dressed and ate quickly before walking over to Winnie Palmer. I remember feeling like I couldn't get to Avery's room fast enough. I was so anxious to see if she was still off oxygen. I remember the relief I felt when I saw she was, and then more relief when the nurse filled me in on her good night. Then I waited, not for too long though. Dr A came in, and even though he was wearing a mask I could see his eyes smiling. Today was the day. Avery was ready to go home! I had known for a week or so, that this Friday, January 24th was our goal of discharge, but I told almost no one, as I didn't want to jinx anything. I kept my routine the same just in case something happened and she needed some more time. I think I thought I would be less disappointed. But after 106 days she was ready, and so were Adam and I. The day was surreal, I had so much to do to get my life all packed up from the Ronald McDonald House, appointments to schedule, and calls to make, but instead I just sat in the cafeteria for awhile, reveling in the fact that this was my last lunch here. I had sat in that same spot and watched so many babies be wheeled out those front doors, and today was finally our turn. I didnt hurry, I just enjoyed it. Through our stay at the hospital Adam and I didn't talk much about going home, and when, and what it would be like. The stay was so long, I think it helped make me less anxious to not. We let the days go by and Avery had all the time she needed. But today was the day. We were going home to start our life as a family of 3. It was late when we finally brought Avery through the door to meet our 2 incredibly happy doggies. After much sniffing and tail wagging, I rememeber putting her on the counter in her car seat and saying to Adam "what now?" It was the first time we got to decide what to do with Avery and what she needed. For my entire length of motherhood I had someone else tell me when she should be fed, bathed, her diaper changed, and for a very long time even when I could hold her (in the beginning it was only twice a day). And now here we were, in our kitchen, alone, no monitors to tell us her heart was beating, or she was getting enough oxygen. I don't remember being scared, but just kind of lost. Thank goodness that feeling didn't last too awful long, as the joy if having Avery Hope home quickly overtook it. Our prayers had been answered".
You are not alone in this journey - your story will not be exactly the same - your child's destiny will unfold right before your weary eyes - but we want you to know you're not alone - we see you - as healthcare providers - as parents - we see you
